HEELS AND HANDBAGS
“Oh! Did she just fall?”
“No, she tripped”
“I think her heels are too high”
“Those aren’t heels, they are skyscrapers”
No girl is
short unless she so wishes, with heels and wedges she can grow taller than
Iroko. It is now difficult to tell the exact height of a lady, it is either 6ft
in the morning and 4ft at night.
I get
emotional sometimes, when I see most ladies, they look like they need a makeup
guide. Their blusher is so red on their cheeks like bruises, and their
foundation so white like embalmment on a corpse. I nearly embarrassed a girl,
when I mistook her eyeliner for a black eye caught from a low jab.
I don’t
understand the female fashion, everything is getting short. Then it used to be
Blouses and Trousers or Skirts, but now Crop-Tops
and Bump-Shorts are the in things.
Soon braziers and pants will be in vogue, and our girls would proudly wear them
in public without seeing anything wrong.
These are
the kind of girls you introduce to your parents as a fiancé and your mum would
start fasting and saying novena prayers for you to end the relationship.
It is so
funny when you listen to the most preferred topic is marriage. Whose husband
was a dog, whose man had disappointed her after 5years and left to marry a
small girl he could control, whose husband bought her a new Ford.
At this age,
they no longer read books like “Think like a Man, Act like a Woman”, they
prefer books like “Praying Your Way to Prosperity”. They no longer attend night
parties, they prefer vigils at churches they barely know their names.
It is
pertinent to advice that, while buying a makeup kit for your face, don’t forget
to buy a makeup bag for your character, to avoid the marriage rush that come
later in life. Now your face matters, soon your character will dictate the
tune.
Augustus Bill
©2014
TUN/0005//15/07/14
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